Should I stay or Should I go?


Should I stay or should I go? This is the question.
I used to be much more consistent on my blogging a couple of months ago. Unfortunately, this is not the case anymore and I am feeling a bit ashamed about it. I shared a lot of my thoughts and I have been in touch with some lovely people. It made me feel so good, feeling that I was not on my own on that Autistic boat. Right now, I feel like I kind of let some people down. That’s why I am pondering. Should I shut down my blog in the next coming weeks?
I know I have been blogging less and less because I was engaged in way too many activities too and as I have decided after Ramadan, I wish to spend more time with my little family, spend more time in my ibadat and also sew.
So how am I doing?
>Well, you should never be satisfied with the time you’re spending on your worship or doing things for the sake of Allah because you might end up being lazy again. But I am happy because I am feeling closer to my Creator right now but this is still a work in progress and this for the rest of my life inshAllah.

> I am not spending enough time with my children and hubby but by working full time, this is what you should expect. Alhamdulillah this should change in a couple of months inshAllah.

> Sewing, we’re getting there inshAllah…2h30 per week Mashallah!

I am at a crossroad…


Back from holidays,back to school and back to work

Haven’t been blogging for a while.

I just returned from a trip to Belgium a couple of days ago. I have been literally touring to my in-laws and other family. I am knocked down, worse than before I left. Can you imagine ? SubhAnallah, i am back to work on Tuesday, I am already stressing about it. Trying to keep my head cool, I will survive another year inshAllah.DSCF0707

I am a working mum….with an autistic child

Since I became a parent, I truly understood why Allah has exhorted us to honour our parents. It is  easy to conceive a child but to raise one is something else. I don’t think you do realize the responsibility, the hard work that it represents until you have  yours.

Mother status in the 21st Century

Nowadays, the key role of the Mother has been seriously undermined to the extent that she seems to be replaceable. The current trend tends  to encourage parents to delegate their responsabilities to  schools, social services , therapists and others. But obviously when you are looking at the state of our Society, it doesn’t seem to be effective. The right path should be that parents and external bodies ( when necessary)should work together hand in hand!

Moreover, today’s system is clearly stigmatizing the Mother who chooses to stay at home and look after her children. Thus, I would like to share an extract of Rukaiyah Hill Abdusalam’s book* that sums it all: ” Although a poor economy forces many mothers to work, it seems that others in the West are leaving home to get away from the stigma attached to being”just a mother”.Sadly when a woman in America stays home to raise  children she is not allowed the peace and security of knowing that the system upholds and recognizes her role as a wife and mother.” Right to the point, isn’t it?

About myself

I am married and I have two daugthers. My eldest is six and she is autistic. My youngest is 13 months. I am working part-time and my children are staying at the childminder’s while I am at work. Alhamdulillah, Allah has  blessed us with a very patient and caring childminder who hasn’t been  put off by some of my daughter’s challenges . These factors definetly helped me going back to work peacefully.                                                                                                                                                                                          But whether your child is disabled or not, whether you’re working or staying at home, raising a child ain’t an easy job. Although I am often exhausted after a day at the office,  I always strive to  play with my children , take them out, communicate and annoy the teachers and all the therapists involved. I am as good at it as a “Stay at home” mum. So lately, I got very irritated by a “throw away”comment of a parent suggesting  that “children need to have  their mums home”. Some of these judgmental people assume that because you are a working mum, you only care for your career and that your children are left by themselves, sitting for hours in front of a Plasma eating take aways. The ironic thing is that at the end, this lady was begging me to help her finding a job.

So listen, whether you are at home or employed, fashionable or not, be comfortable with your choice  and  your situation !

* Women’s Ideal Liberation- Islamic versus Western Understanding by Rukaiyah Hill Abdulsalam