Back from holidays,back to school and back to work

Haven’t been blogging for a while.

I just returned from a trip to Belgium a couple of days ago. I have been literally touring to my in-laws and other family. I am knocked down, worse than before I left. Can you imagine ? SubhAnallah, i am back to work on Tuesday, I am already stressing about it. Trying to keep my head cool, I will survive another year inshAllah.DSCF0707

Married life

I would like to dedicate this post to my dear husband. I am so happy to be your wife, love you, mwah!

                                                                                                                                                                 On several occasions, he has been asking me if I had ever told “my readers” how “good” he was as a husband. He is right I have to let you know that I am blessed to have him in my life although I do often moan at him for being a child. I do complain a lot. As I mentioned previously, I am the “Mo Farah of impatience”. But Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God), my husband is the “Jessica Ennis of patience” (with me).

Having an healthy relationship with my husband has definitely a positive impact on my children. Marriage is not always easy. Nothing to do with Fairy tales. Don’t be lured: “happily ever after”, not always! Marriage is more of a work in progress. It is also an institution that can be endangered by the stress caused by the handling of day-to-day life, financial issues, health issues, children, bugging in-laws etc…

In the past, my husband and I did have big downs but we have been both determined to make things work. We “enforced” strong family ties out of love for each other and for the sake of the girls. The children mean everything to us and we are doing a lot of concessions on our own needs and desires for them. Nevertheless, too many concessions can lead to frustrations and frustrations to conflicts. To compensate, we are striving to maximize the time we are spending together, only the two of us.  We both work and we don’t have family leaving nearby to babysit so it is quite a huge struggle.  But we have to do it even if it is only to sit down on the sofa together and watch TV. I don’t want to end up meeting with him only for arguing. I don’t want the word husband to be synonymous of anger, rage, resentment but I’d rather like to think about horse, charming, Snow White. Lol, just kidding but I know, you did get my point.

Finally, how much does my daughter’s condition affect our relationship? Believe me, not that  much!  Rushing around for workshops, therapies, appointments, of course, requires a big deal of organization, structure and discipline. Oops! My husband is an artist, a freestyler, guided by his own vibe. I am the Ruler in all the “Academic” bit of our life and he is the “Emotional support” Coordinator. He is the laid-back buddy.We are opposites who complement each other, Alhamdulillah!

Stop the Abuse! Part 2

Addressing this subject and researching about it are draining me emotionally. You can find so many links on google by simply typing Autism and Abuse on the search box. But come on, let’s break the Ice in order to eradicate Abuse O-N-C-E   A-N-D  F-O-R   A-L-L  InshAllah

The Family Unit

First and foremost, I would like to salute  the effort and honesty of DESIblitz.com* for recently releasing an article ” The Asian Stigma  with Disability”**. To acknowledge spontaneously ones shortcomings may not be “in” but MashAllah   it is incredibly brave . Self-criticism is definitely the right track towards rectification, progress and InshAllah Success.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Although DESIblitz ‘aim was to depict behaviours spotted within the Asian community, I would like to make clear that these are also seen among other ethnic groups.

Ignorance, lack of understanding , lack of education or denial, on their own or combined, may result in devastating consequences in the lives of those affected by disabilities.In this regard, DESIblitz quoted some examples of verbal abuse such as being  openly mocked at Family gatherings, being called names such as “sick” , “mad” or being accused of playing the “disability card” out oflaziness.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              This sets the perfect tone for a sexual predator and/ or a physical abuser  to hit with great impunity.The “Sick or mad” is a very easy target, served on a plate by his own family who openly denied his  right to be respected and  treated with dignity. If the victim manages to report the abuser to one of his family member, he may find nobody willing to confront the perpretator and advocate for him. The scandal will be hidden under the family carpet and the abuser will re-offend as much as he wishes. DESIblitz even provided us with the following tragic example: ‘In a slum in India, a mother refused to allow her daughter to be taken away to an institution, although her father was abusing her, saying: “At least here she is only abused by one person.” ‘ SubhanAllah! A child you carried for 9 months, your skin and your blood…

 I am now done with this subject. It has been really hard , really really hard but it’s worth it. These things have to be openly condemned as being evil and reprehensible. I am ready to  fight for  my daughter to be safe as well as every single  individual inshAllah. What about you?

*DESIblitz.com is an online magazine which readership is of British Asian descent. http://www.desiblitz.com

** ” The Asian Stigma with Disability”:http://www.desiblitz.com/content/the-asian-stigma-with-disability