Behind closed doors

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People often praises me for appearing so positive about my daughter’s condition.

To these people, I’d like to say:

> Every Human Being who faces hardship in life will automatically try to handle the situation to the best of their capability. This is Human nature, isn’t it?

> Having a child with Special needs didn’t transform me into a Super mum or a Super Hero. Far from that… Most of the time, I am feeling weak and vulnerable.

> I have not accepted Autism but I acknowledged its presence and its impact in our lives.

> Some days, I am “tolerant” and some days, I lack patience (my number one weakness!). On these misty days, I feel like a complete failure. I am the spoilt child in front of my daughter who is demonstrating so much altruism and compassion.( Altruism and compassion, features you “presumably” hardly find in people with Autism…)

> I am the mother, I am the Neurotypical but at the end of the day, I am learning a big deal of wisdom from this child.

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Baby boy

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I am expecting baby nr 3. My daughter “T” is super excited about it. Her teacher and her teaching assistants were informed of my pregnancy well before some members of my own family,in-laws or friends. From the very start, she’s been telling them that “mummy’s got a baby boy inside her belly”. So I haven’t been given a choice on whether I wanted to keep my pregnancy a secret or not.

“A- -b-a-b-y– boy”. Yes, she made her decision on the gender too. It has to be a boy!Although I tried to explain to her that the baby could be a girl too, it just seemed that she refused to take that idea on board. As if she already knew…

When I was pregnant with her, I would never have expected “T” to be autistic or to have any specific condition. I guess like every mum, you innocently believe that everything will be perfect.
That ‘s what makes pregnancy nr 2 and 3 so different from pregnancy nr 1.I don’t take anything for granted anymore. At the back of my head: questions, concerns and worries…
* Is this new child going to be healthy?
* Is he going to have any learning disabilities?
* Is he going to have any physical handicap?
* Is he going to be ill?

Allahu Alaam (Allah knows best), whatever happens should happen and InshAllah, we will all be alright.