How does it feel like having a child with autism?

Some days I am fine, some days, I am not. Some days, there are ups and some days, there are downs. Some days, my daughter surprises me with new abilities. Some days, I am upset and tired. Some days, my daughter wets herself. Some days, I feel helpless.

Some days, I am dreaming of having a conversation with my daughter.                                                                                                                                                                               SubhanAllah,having a proper conversation: that will be so great ! This means more than a mine of gold to me. Parents of verbal children don’t realise the chance that they’ve got and how I envy them. Alhamdulillah, my daughter starts talking recently, verbs, words and  some incomplete sentences. It makes such a  huge difference! It has strengthened our relationship, bonded us more.  I am getting to know my daughter’s from the inside. MashAllah, she has a great sense of humour and self derision. Last time, she told me that her skin colour was blue and that she was a boy.

Dear brothers and sisters, the reason I called my blog Autism taught me sabr is because by nature, I am a very impatient person If there were Olympic Games around that theme, I would win the gold. I am the Mo Farah of impatience.  It is probably why Allah is testing me through my daughter. Although, I sometimes find this situation quite frustrating , day after day,  I am witnessing my daughter’s progress. Indeed, three years ago, my daughter could speak only 5 words and the rest was echolalia. My daughter couldn’t button or zip. My daughter couldn’t hold a pen. My daughter couldn’t play with other children without hitting  or snatching toys from them etc… These are miracles from Allah. These are gifts from Allah to me. So when you feel down, write down on a paper your child’s achievements and it will keep you going.

The other main issue for me could be people around me, relatives, friends, professionals and complete  strangers. I don’t need  people to feel sorry for us and tell things like ” Bless her” because as my dear Temple Grandin says: ” different but not less”.                                                                                                                                    This is also upsetting when you meet people who think that non-verbal people and autistic individuals don’t have a personality, don’t have feelings and can’t be hurt by nasty comments. Autistics are not veggies. These people will treat pets with more respect than autistic folk. Sadly,this is the 21st century.

But more importantly,  I would like  you guys not to give up hope on your child potential. Don’t stick to what the specialists are saying about what your child would be able to achieve or not. They don’t know the  Unseen and neither do you. Make a lot of duaas for your child.Remember that Allah wa ta ala, answers the duaas that parents do for their children .

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2 thoughts on “How does it feel like having a child with autism?

  1. I was deeply touched reading your story. I think you are an amazing mum and I believe the information you shared will be very helpfull to many people. I am grateful for your honesty and it’s is good to hear what it is for a parent to have a child with autism. It’s lovely to hear the activities you do with your daughter and also very touching to hear your struggles and your worries. I recognise when your child gets diagnosed with autism you fear for his/her developmental progress and we try to find some comfort with specialists. But you are right….specialists can help your child progressing but nobody has a right to say what your child can or can not achieve. Most important is when you want to help your child you need to understand your child first by listening to him/her. I think you do an amazing job and your daughter seems to do really great. Your dedication as a mom will definately pay off 🙂 Thank you for sharing to get more awareness and understanding among your community….I think it’s truly wonderful. Keep up the good work you do and wishing you and your family strength an Love 🙂

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